


It's Gonna Be Alright

by vampirekoala



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The Smiths - Freeform, lowkey songfic??, not angst but kinda sad, please read notes before reading!!!!!!, this was written to cope, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 20:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10624224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirekoala/pseuds/vampirekoala
Summary: Maybe what they have isn’t love yet, but it surely won’t take long before it is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This work includes mentions of: self-harm; homophobia; abortions; and one of the characters is implied to be suicidal as well as descriptions of abusive parents. I wrote this bc i was sad and what better way is there to deal with your feelings other than making your faves suffer? Anyways please don't read if you're sensitive to anything mentioned, otherwise i hope you enjoy,, sadist  
> PS. listen to There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths while reading this, it's what this fic was lowkey inspired by

It’s not my home, it’s their home and i’m welcome no more…

Donhyuck wasn’t sure how he got into this situation. Actually, scratch that. He knew perfectly well how, but it still felt so incredibly surreal. And still so uncertain. 

Driving in your car, i never ever want to go home

There he is. With Mark. The person that he wants to spend the rest of his life with - at least so he thinks, right now, and he hopes he’s never going to change his mind because surely nobody out there can be better for him than Mark. More gentle. More sweet. More understanding. Better company for anxious car rides at 2 am on a school day while blasting The Smiths.

There he is, and he should be feeling like everything is falling and crumbling and suffocating him, but he doesn’t. Not right now. Maybe this feeling will come crashing down in a couple of minutes, but for now he’s fine. With Mark, he’s always fine. And his world is crashing down around him, everything is falling and suffocating him but here, in their little bubble in a car that’s completely silent save for Morrissey’s spot-on whining, Mark gives him safety, gives him space to breathe and protects him from his demons. Demons? Parents. His parents. There’s nothing worse than parents who don’t do their job properly, and realize too late that they fucked up.

There he is. A gay, sixteen year old boy who doesn’t hate others for things they can’t change, unlike his parents. They realized too late that they forgot to mould the glass while it was still hot, and now they’re trying to crush him apart and tape the pieces together in a shape they like. They’re only breaking off little pieces, trying to file down edges that stick out too much, because they don’t know that the entire shape is wrong. They’re trying to make him into a chandelier without realizing that he’s a vase, without realizing that he was made to hold beauty as gentle and kind as flowers and not cast judgmental light on people who look at him with wonder. 

And there’s Mark. A wonder, a sweet boy who’s barely even old enough to be driving a car, taking him away when his parents’ hate becomes too much. Giving Donghyuck gentle smiles and little kisses that make him wonder how it’s possible that something so simple can make him feel so nice, and not asking questions because he knows that he’ll speak when he’s ready. 

Usually all it takes to make him talk is Barbarism Begins at Home, followed by There Is a Light That Never Goes Out. The latter is just coming to an end, and Mark can hear Donghyuck breathe in. He smiles to himself.   
“I think I’m gonna tell them soon.” Donghyuck says so softly he barely hears him over the music.   
Mark hums in response. “Did they do something again?” He asks, taking his eyes off the road to glance at the boy.   
Donghyuck shakes his head. “No, but they’re so… So sure that I’m just going through a rebel phase. And I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and… I really don’t have the energy to put up with them any more. Today they were complaining about me not having a girlfriend yet and how cute their friends’ daughter is. I almost told them right then.” He laughs breathlessly, no mirth in his voice. “And, my mother yelled at me for having a bunch of old school papers on the floor. She said so many things, about how useless I am, and that I’m probably always cheating on tests because I’m too stupid to actually do things right, and… I told her that if I really am such a bad child, she should have just had an abortion instead. And you know what, Mark? She agreed. She said she wished she had.” He inhaled sharply, trying to control the shakiness of his voice.   
Mark feels anger start to buzz within him. He grips the steering wheel more tightly and starts driving in the direction of the nearest McDonald’s.   
“And when she said that, I was just there, in my room, and it was as if my brain suddenly forgot that I haven’t done anything in almost two years and I almost did it again but I couldn’t find the scalpel.” The last part is whispered as Donghyuck turns to look at Mark. “Did you take it?”   
Mark swallows and smiles sheepishly. “Yeah. Last time I was at your place. Why didn’t you call me? I told you to do that when you feel like doing… that.”   
“I did.” Donghyuck answers immediately. “I called you right afterwards, and I probably wouldn’t even have done anything, anyway. It’s just, a habit.”   
Mark nods. Donghyuck continues.  
“And I just realized that i can’t handle living with them anymore. Remember sports break, when your parents weren’t home for the whole thing so we had a week-long sleepover?” Mark nods again. “That was great. I loved it, I loved being with you and away from my parents, and it was the happiest I’ve been in a while.” He pauses, and Mark feels his stare on his face. “Because they weren’t there. Or because you were there. I’m not sure, Mark Lee, but you make me happy and I wouldn’t mind never seeing my parents again if it meant seeing you everyday. So I’m gonna tell them. And I’ll move out, I don’t know where I’ll go but that’s fine as long as you’re there. It’s all gonna be okay, even if it will take a while before it is.”  
Mark parks just outside of McDonald’s, and turns in his seat to face Donghyuck.   
“Hyuckie.” He starts, looking in the other’s eyes with worry. “Don’t rush, okay? Don’t destroy your future for me.” He says gently as he holds Donghyuck’s hand. just   
“But, it’s not just for you.” The younger says, tears starting to form in his eyes. “I don’t know how much longer I can take it. When I’m at school or somewhere with you or even when I’m home alone, it’s fine, but their presence makes me turn into such a brat and I know it but I can’t help it, because they think they know me, and they’re so convinced that I’m the worst child they could have ever gotten, and they’re always telling everyone about it and enjoying the attention it gets them so why should i prove them wrong?” He sobs. “I don’t want to change my behaviour because they don’t deserve a nice child but it makes me feel so bad to be faking my personality and then have all their friends act like I’m the devil. My mother said today that she laughed really hard when she met mr Kim and he said that I’m nice and hardworking because, how is it possible that you’re so good at deceiving your teachers? But i’m not deceiving the teachers, i’m deceiving her, and it’s because the real me would break down, cry, and slit his wrists when she starts… talking.” Donghyuck’s voice is hoarse, and Mark feels his heart shattering when he truly realizes how bad he’s feeling. “I don’t know how much longer I can handle being so fake, Mark.” He finished, whispering.   
Mark leans over and embraces the boy, trying to squeeze all the worries and bad feelings out of him. “You’re not fake, Hyuckie. You’re strong. And you’ll be fine. Just hold on a little bit longer, and as soon as we’re both out of school I promise we’ll move in together and I’ll do my best to make you happy and you’ll never have to talk to or see your parents again unless you want to, okay? We’ll have a cute little apartment with lots of plants and big windows and a little kitchen and an entire shelf with just fruit teas and we’ll be the happiest couple in the world. I won’t let anyone hurt you then.” He whispers into Donghyuck’s, rubbing soothing circles on his back in an attempt to calm him down.   
“Can we have a dog, too?” Donghyuck asks after a moment of silence, his sniffles quieter.   
Mark laughs gently. “If the apartment allows it, sure.”  
“And if it doesn’t?”  
“Then we’ll have to move.” 

 

Maybe the world is falling apart, but he’ll be fine, Donghyuck realizes as they’re sitting on the hood of Mark’s car, sharing a large vanilla milkshake. Maybe it will take a while for things to be alright, but that’s fine. Maybe what they have isn’t love yet, but it surely won’t take long before it is. Maybe, no, surely, there will be more times when he feels like giving up at 1 am, but he’ll be fine. As long as Mark Lee is there at 2 am, offering to make Donghyuck realize that there are things worth staying alive for.


End file.
